Recently I felt really stress over my itp. The assignments i was given and especially when I have to assist in science workshop in schools. I really dislike going to secondary school because I am not confident in dealing with the students' questions. And especially when I don't know what is the expectation of the staffs too. What i thought was good may not be the case for them, which was why i felt stress working there.
And my damn supervisor kept giving me horrible grades! I don't understand why. First, when I thought I wrote until very nice in my log book, the grades she gave was bad. Second, I wrote very little in my log book and the grades was worse. Third, I wrote full 2 pages and the grades worsen. Seriously, what does she wants?!
And i really damn hate her attitude. I think i did more than someone in the company and yet my grades was same as that person. WHAT IS THIS!! I am so unlucky to get her as my sub-supervisor and she happen to be the one marking my log book. Honestly i don't freaking care anymore. No matter what i wrote the grades will still be bad, what for i put so much time and effort into writing the log book if all the grades were bad.
Anyway, I already told myself that i shouldn't care so much about the grades. But what i really dislike was that my grades was bad because of that type of people. And i really hate getting myself reflected badly because of that type of people.
Seriously, I lost a lot of opportunities in this internship! Firstly, i got attached to a low-level lab, didn't get exposed to a lot of high tech equipments or get to read recommended journals. Secondly, I lost a very important opportunity to go to China DuJiangYan for OCIP, especially when i already made many friends in the team. And i was SUPER DISAPPOINTED AND IRRITATED that i cannot go. I really felt that I would have gain more going for the OCIP than in the internship.
But despite all that were lost, I also gained a lot of experience through this internship. Like People relationship, the reality i faced with that staff, getting a bit more confident in lab skills than i used to, knowing that i am not suitable for lab work and most importantly, the likelihood of not being suitable in science industry.
THANKS AR!
28/2/2012 Monday.
*~GuiFang~*
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